Bread - The Sound of Bread

The Sound of Bread has to be the hardest parent core review to date. So utterly offensively inoffensive are Bread that the second the record finishes playing I have absolutely no recollection of what any of it sounds like. It could literally be a record of someone banging a french baguette against a brioche bun for all I know - i just simply cannot remember either way. Mind you some baguette on brioche action probably would be more memorable than this drivel. Is it my imagination or are there brioche buns everywhere at the moment - I can’t seem to move for restaurants serving them, friends chomping on them and Tesco Metros selling them by the packet….. yeah that says a lot about the quality of this record.

Formed in California in 1969, Bread seem to redefine soft rock to such an extent that they make the Eagles sound like Entombed. In fact having just written that sentence all I want to do now is listen to Earache Unplugged (a misleading title for a metal album upon which acoustic guitars are nowhere to be seen/heard) - a cracking Earache Records compilation featuring the likes of Entombed, Carcass and the brilliantly daft rock n’roll riffsters Cathedral. A daming indictment indeed since I’m hardly a bona fide metal fan these days.

God, I guess I’d better write something about the musical content of this album at some point then. The second side is slightly more bearable than the first, although your ears will probabaly feel bunged up with dough by the time you get there. The highlight is probably Everything I own - a tribue to lead singer David Gates’ late father - although it’s not a patch on the Ken Boothe reggaefied version from 1974 (a Lady Friend childhood favourite so it tends to get the occasional outing in the parent core household). It also appears to be one of the most covered songs of all time (totally unsubstantiated claim alert), with the likes of Rod Stewart, Boy George, N-Sync, Olivia Newton-John, Shirley Bassey and everyone’s favourite self-deluded hot girlfriend role-model Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussytwat Dolls all having a stab. I guess I’ll chuck it on the parent core play list then. Take it away PJ. Give us something more memorable than Bread have managed. Please!

The Rolling Stones - Big Hits (High Tide and Green Grass)

This summer The Rolling Stones celebrate their Golden Jubilee. They shall celebrate it in an orgy of hand waving pomp floating aboard a flotilla larger than the Spanish Armada as they are serenaded by a wide-eyed Robbie Williams who will look more gurning lunatic than supposed member of boy band royalty, until Keith Richards’ age finally catches up with him and he is diagnosed with cystitis live on national TV in a humiliatingly public dissection of his bladder movements. Not really. Obviously not really, but it is pretty amazing that a band who began life in 1962 are still with us. Well, most of them are.

Big Hits High Tide and Green Grass Is the Stones’ first best-of album, released in 1966 and covering their first four years worth of material. Seeing as it’s the earliest Stones record in the parent core collection, I think it represents my folks’ belated attempt to get in to this hip new blues infused rock music that everyone’s talking about, after missing out on the band’s early years by choosing to listen to the likes of the Everly Brothers and Beatles instead. Although who knows, maybe the Stones wouldn’t exist as we know them if it hadn’t been for the Beatles? In the early 60’s Decca records turned down a chance to sign The Beatles in favour of local beat combo Brian Poole and the Tremeloes, claiming that ‘guitar music’ was on the way out.” Fortunately the same Decca record exec had the chance to atone for his blunder a few years later: when judging a talent contest with George Harrison he was advised to take a look at the Stones whom the Beatles guitarist had seen live a couple of weeks earlier. 

Classics on Big Hits, High Tide and Green Grass include Paint it Black, Have You Seen Your Mother Baby and Little Red Rooster, but I’m a bit disappointed that the UK version doesn’t include Play With Fire like the quite different US release does.

One of the tracks I am less familiar with however is Lady Jane… which upon first listen sounds like its being played out from the view point of Henry VIII as he gently breaks it to Anne Boleyn that he intends to get jiggy Tudor style with Jane Seymour. But he doesn’t mention anything about hacking her head off so I’m not entirely sure whether it is him or not. Still, it’s kind of topical with this rather tenuous Jubilee thing hey?

Although not my favourite, it’s hard not to be drawn to the eerie echoing qualities of Paint it Black - appearing on the soundtracks to both Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket and the equally harrowing Guitar Hero III. Although I don’t share Mick Jagger’s apparently compulsive desire to perform impromptu re-decoration every time I see a red door - I’d never make it back from the tube station to my house if I did - I’m chucking it on the parent core play list this week anyway. Happy birth-year Rolling Stones.

Check out PJ’s beats here:

Peter, Paul and Mary - The Best of, (Ten) Years Together

“Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.

He never drank water, he always drank wine”

Songs about wino thoroughbreds, inedible lemons and stoner dragons - that pretty much sums up Peter, Paul and Mary’s barmy approach to song writing. Well, a lot of their tunes are covers of 60’s classics and re-imaginings of classic folk songs, but the point still stands. (Ten) Years Together initially caused some disagreement in the parent core camp. While PJ claims that he felt slightly sick listening to what reminded him of the real life Mulligan and O’Hare, for me I felt like I was instantly transported to some sort whimsically mournful Wes Anderson movie as the close harmonies of Blowin’ in The Wind filled my ears while I looked on at the blank expressions surrounding me on the tube during my early morning commute. That said, I think after a few listens even PJ’s coming around now…

Part of New York’s Greenwich Village folk scene in the 60’s, Peter, Paul and Mary were created as the result of an auditioning process by Bob Dylan’s manager Albert Grossman. With these slightly manufactured origins, they are basically folk’s answer to the Sugarhill Gang. Stewball - from which the lyrics at the start of this post are quoted - is a beautiful song building up layer upon layer of vocal harmonies as it progresses. Charting the disappointment of punter who neglected to bet on the race winner after which the song takes its title (well would you bet on a horse which always drank wine?), Stewball is a worthy anthem for the EBC - the highly unsuccessful betting syndicate of which I am part (it stands for the Elite Betting Corporation since you ask). Puff The Magic Dragon has to be their most infamous classic though. Urban legends relating to its weed induced roots aside, it is actually quite a touching little tune about the loss of childhood innocence.

That said, for every classic, there are some notable low points on this album. I Dig Rock and Roll Music is a pretty awful (but admittedly playful) dig at the lack of social-conscience of a music genre that was burgeoning around them. Quite what the proto-David Bowie impression in the middle of it is all about I have no idea. The album does end on a high though. For Lovin’ Me, Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright and The Hammer Song (“If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land” - behaviour that would earn you an asbo in no time in this day and age) are all stuffed full of brilliant harmonies.

Call me a softy, but the touching 23rd birthday message to my Mum from my old man on the back of the record sleeve puts (Ten) Years Together right up there in the parent core collection for me. As for this week’s addition to the parent core play list, I think it’ll have to be Stewball as a tribute to the EBC. Bets on alcoholic nags only next season boys. Actually I really like Don’t Think Twice as well - in an unprecedented move I might have to add two songs to the play list this week.

Check out PJ’s love hate relationship with Peter, Paul and Mary here:

The Supremes - A Go Go

This record has gone down particularly well in the parent core household this week. Given Lady Friend’s childhood propensity to stand on her toy box while singing along to Diana Ross’s Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, The Supremes A Go Go was always going to go down well. And I’m not surprised really as it’s stuffed full of some of the most recognizable Motown tracks of the 60’s - classic perfectly formed up-tempo swinging soulful pop at its best.

A Go Go was The Supremes’ 1966 debut record and the first all female record to reach number one in the US Billboard charts. This Old Heart of Mine, Shake Me, Wake Me, I Can’t Help Myself, Get Ready – nearly every track on this album is a belter. With a revolving membership policy that saw around ten members joining and leaving the band over nearly two decades The Supremes appear to be the original Sugababes. Although the Sugababes are yet to grace us with a superstar quite as gifted at football as Diana Ross.

The only thing that slightly freaks me out about this record is You Can’t Hurry Love. A perfectly decent tune in its own right sure, but one that has become permanently damaged goods in my eyes following a shoddy Phil Collins cover in 1982. And I’m no Phil Collins hater - No Jacket Required is an awesome record… although ironically if you want to do a passable impression of Phil at a fancy dress party, a jacket most certainly is required. Along with a t-shirt, blue jeans and rapidly receding hairline. Hmm, actually maybe not judging by THIS. Anyway, the point is that Phil shouldn’t have dabbled with the Supremes. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it in my opinion.

Oh sod it, what the hell. It’s time to reconcile myself with it once and for all. You Can’t Hurry Love is going on the parent core playlist.

I went to see Grand Master Flash play on a rooftop in Brixton last weekend. He still can’t scratch for toffee but he still knows how to rock a party. What a legend. It’s fitting therefore that PJ has used the famous Flash scratch sample on this week’s finger bashed Supreme’s parent core remix. Enjoy!

Abba - Greatest Hits Vol.2

Volume 2? What have you done with Volume 1 Mum and Dad!? Were Waterloo and Fernando not good enough for you hey? To be fair actually, I think one greatest hits record is just about as much Abba as I can listen to without wanting to plug my own ears up for good. You can therefore imagine my disappointment at attending a good friend’s wedding party recently, only to find that the DJ played not one but two Abba tracks – severely eating in to the limited time that he had to entertain this particular pissed tie-round-the-head wearing wedding usher.  Still, he made up for it by playing Toto’s Africa – although I don’t quite know who Toto think they are blessing the rains down in Africa – I’m sure Africans couldn’t give two shits whether their rain has been blessed by an 80’s soft rock act or not.

Limited tolerance for their musical output aside, you really can’t fault Agnetha, Benny, Björn  and Anni-Frid’s skill at crafting incredibly catchy pop numbers. Phenomenally successful between 1972 and 1982 Abba’s demise proved that it’s probably not wise to pair off in to two couples when you’re in a mixed four piece band… otherwise you’re probably going to end up seriously getting on each other’s tits. Volume 2 contains some of their biggest and best hits. From Gimme Gimme Gimme (successfully sampled by Madonna in her tune Hung Up) to Knowing Me Knowing You (AHA!); and from Take a Chance on Me (nice little Erasure cover that one) to Dancing Queen (You’re terrible Muriel. No seriously, you are you slob) – this record is stuffed full of granny pleasers.

… and Vladimir Putin apparently. If you type Abba fan in to google images, the first thing that shows up is a picture of the Russia’s very own shirtless horse riding, bear slaying macho man himself – apparently a big fan of the Swedes. Hey everyone has to unwind somehow I guess.

You can’t fault Abba’s relentless nose (yes noses can be relentless alright) for commercial success. They even went as far to record a Spanish version of their greatest hits called Gracias Por La Musica. I really think more bands should take a leaf out of Abba’s book. If the likes of Olly Murs were forced to record everything they released in an additional Spanish version, maybe they’d think twice before inflicting such drivel on us.

Despite the inclusion of many better known hits, I’m actually going to stick Angel Eyes on the parent core play list this week, mainly because I’ve never heard it at a wedding. More fingers bashing beats from PJ below, plus if you like that, you’ll probably like this Van Halen Super Trooper mash up too. Enjoy!

Check out PJ’s beats here:

Simon and Garfunkel – Bridge Over Troubled Water

Another mainstreamer from the parent core collection this week, Simon and Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water is their final and most successful album, recorded in 1969 a year before their break-up. Their first break up that is – these guys split up and got back together more times than Roberto Mancini and Carlos Tevez.

In fact, this record, as stuffed full of catchy folkster hits as it is, is basically one drawn out relationship meltdown – the charting of a painfully withering bromance. The Only Living Boy in New York was penned by Paul Simon when he was left to finish off writing Bridge Over Troubled Water on his own as Art Garfunkel buggered off to Mexico to film Catch 22; the album title track sung solely by Garfunkel charts their increasingly fractious relationship as their creative differences spiralled out of control; Why Don’t You Write Me is a pretty much a blatant heart-on-sleeve cry from Simon for a nice facebook wall post from his best buddy; while their cover of the Everly Brothers (who were a strong influence for S&G) song Bye Bye Love pretty much says it all. I could go on. I mean dudes seriously, man up! Some laundry is quite happy being aired at home in the spare room where no one can see it. Apart from drunken friends who’ve crashed out at yours for the night after missing the last bus home that is – they normally end up sleeping in it.

Oh well, if this is a break up record, it’s better than doing it by text message I suppose. Just a bit more of an effort. Not everyone who wants to break up with someone has the benefit of being a member of a talented duo of Greenwich Village folk rockers I guess.

My favourite track and inclusion in this week’s parent core play list is actually El Condor Pasa, based upon the original instrumental number by Los Incas from 1963 and featuring the simultaneously uplifting and slightly mournful Andean pan pipes that you could imagine some jubilant Ewoks dancing to after staging an unlikely victory against a particularly evil intergalactic empire. Or perhaps even a Cylon empire. Who knows. Incidentally DJ Shadow sampled El Condor Pasa’s opening refrain on his track You Can’t Go Home Again. That’s two DJ Shadow references and two Battlestar Gallactica references in the last month.  More varied pop culture references cannot be guaranteed I’m afraid. 

Check out PJ’s Simon and G Funkel beats below: